On the third of January 2021, I tried to kill myself.
I had just received the word from my ex-girlfriend that she had moved on. She met someone and things were getting serious.
I got drunk. I bought all of the double IPAs and I drank them all. I was an utter mess. And I took myself out the front and tied the rope to the tree and placed my head in the loop and allowed the rope to cut into my neck.
It hurt.
And I couldn't go through with it.
And I sat in a mess with a resolution to improve my life and my station. The rope remained tied to the tree as a constant reminder.
I lost 45kg. I met a number of women. I read books on vulnerability and love sickness. It was surreal. With every woman I met, the anxiety became less and less for a guy that had only ever slept with two other woman before.
I met someone. She was amazing, everything that I had ever wanted in a partner. An identical taste in music. She was lovely, generous and all of everything. But unfortunately for me, her best friend professed his undying love for her the night before we were due to meet up. And that was that. She's still with him and wildly happy. And I'm happy for her. I doubt I possessed the ability to keep her happy.
Here I am. In similar circumstances.
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